2017 ending soon

What have you achieve this year?

There will be an important announcement tomorrow, dear God, give me something to end this pretty year. 

In Jesus name, Amen.

A little thank note

Cousin - Adrea's 21st birthday party yesterday
We had a little worship time before the service starts

在无数的黑夜里，我用星星画出你， 

你的恩典如晨星，让我真实的见到你，

在我的歌声里，我用音符赞美你，

你的美好是我今生颂扬的。 

这一生最美的祝福，就是能认识主耶稣， 

这一生最美的祝福，就是能信靠主耶稣，

走在高山深谷，祂​​会伴我同行，

我知道，这是最美的祝福。

And I know, Holy Spirit is there

He talked to me

He is so real that night, even is just a birthday party, but I know His presence is there

Where we are today is because of Adrea's dad

We came to God when our whole family got no choice

Yes, we got no choice, no choice in life

And miracle happens, life changed because of Him

So we decided to believe in Him

Not only us

The whole Tan family

How all the miracles happened in this big family

All is His plan

As the bible said, Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household

We know how God work, one by one

Those who we think they wont, and in the end, they believe!

Miracle happen when you believe in Him

I thank to my uncle, i believe he pray for his family during his young time

And because of his prayer, I am now having a good daddy Jesus

And it take soooooo many years for his sibling to come to Him

But, it all worth right?

此时此刻，
好想挣脱名片上那刺眼的称谓，
放弃那本来就无所谓的关系，
断开那不必要的社交。

啊

给我一段重新认识自己的机会，
让我找回生命生活的热诚。

让我消失，让我学会消失～

最近感觉没有很对劲
凡是都提不起劲
决定让自己的人生不再一样
机票买了而且还不止一张
欧洲算是游完了我想游的
接下来的每张票都是亚洲的
或许一两年后的我该游向非洲了
让自己放假了两天
病了
是真的病了
或许没必要两天假
反正算了
人有些时候就该好好休息
自己看了部电影
逛了书局买了几本日粮
应该一星期就把它们给看完了
请告诉我接下来哪里有书展
得为我的书橱增添些了
想了好久
人都说
都什么年代了哪还有人写部落格
可是
对我来说这不仅仅是个部落格
对于我来说
是这些的文字 文字让我感觉自己成长
文字让我放松
文字让我更认识靠近自己
接下来是最具有挑战性的一年
靠你了
加油

Thoughts on Life

Here I am, thinking about life.

Well, I am turning 25 years old this year, just kind of scares. Turning into 1/4 of a century, voice in my mind just went, what have you achieved? Its 8th day in 2015 and its also some shuts down time for me in this new year. There are so many things i wants to achieve in life, and yet, there are so much of fearful and it block me for moving forward. Came across with this quote "when writing the story of your life, don't let anyone else hold the pen", at this point of life, I would think life = success, success = create, create = no time wasting. Yea, I have been wasting the past 24 years and I think I should really do something this year, or perhaps, I should just START something where I will not be regret in this year end and tell myself the same thing in 2016 again.

What and how do you measure your success, what kind of success you are looking at? My kind of success would be really having a big achievement in my career. At this point of time, I would really like to try on different kind of jobs and find what I really want. Went to Big Bad Wolf a couple weeks ago, bought myself some books just to improve and enhance my knowledge.

There are many times I feel like giving up and there are times where I question myself *as like tonight, when I am drafting this post*, what kept you move on, what kept you live on. Honestly, I don't have any big goal in life where I 非 achieve 不可, but I think what kept me going, is God. I never forget the calling the promise that He gave me. 8 years, till today, I never forget. Trying my best all these years, and I can really see and I know He always be with me, whenever I feel like giving up whenever I am emo, He will remind me what to do and He will show me whats the next step / direction. Moses does not led the Israelites out from Egypt by himself, but together with God and his brother Aaron, so do I. I need God, and my Aaron.

I need a little push. 

Time is still on our side, God gives everyone of us 24 hours, why some people could achieve and get things done in their timeline but not some of us? Tonight, before going to bed, think about it. Life, whats your goal in life and what could make it happen.

For me, I am still figuring out my life goal, but one thing for sure, my GOD is the one who make it happen.

good night,

Jesus love you so do I.

xoxo Shanelle

2014 · 2015

Ahhh a little bit late but still, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! So excited for 2015! 2014 was a year filled with ups and downs, highs and lows where i cant document it one by one here, but i wish to share some of my highlight of 2014.

UPs HIGHs DOWNs LOWs | 2014 was a year in which i really experience a lot and grew a lot personally. I found myself strong enough to cater all the challenges towards me. You will never know how strong are you until you actually face it and do it. The scene where I awakened from dream, being afraid from the iPhone ringtone, this is most probably the hardest things for me to overcome this year, and yea, I am still here, safe.

UPs HIGHs DOWNs LOWs | I found life long friendship where we spent our night together, pointing out each of our weakness, telling each other what to do to overcome and achieve what we want in the future. I spend a lot of my time with family and created unforgettable moments that filled with joy fun smile laughter.

UPs HIGHs DOWNs LOWs | It is a blissful year where I got to change to a new ConnectGroup in the end of 2014.  Its not about talking bad of my previous CG *I have so much fun with them*, but I know that God opened another door for me, prepared me for 2015. 

UPs HIGHs DOWNs LOWs | I can never imagine that the company / job that I enjoyed so much will come to the end at the beginning of the year. We have so much fun together, and yet, sometimes things will not just happen according our ways / thought. So much tear, so much sad, but we still have to go. I wish you all all the best and of course i will pray for it continually, I wish we will just meet somewhere near in the future.

I am looking forward to 2015 and can't wait to set my resolution with CY1W. I hope that everyone of us will take a leap of faith in God and we will achieve what we set in the year of 2015. Faith Hope Love.

Good night.

05.01.2015 The Special Day in PYW

Its not a good day tough

I would really thanks PYW for giving such a chance to grow myself during this 9 months.

Since the first day I am here back in Malaysia from UK, start worrying about my future as I am already one year late than my same-age friend to finish my degree, and I spent few more months to stay in Europe, in the end where I nearly late 2 years than other to enter this 残酷的社会.
From the day i received call from my direct supervisor, asking me to go through PYW website before i went for interview, *honestly, i dint. Just simply go through the whole website and for the raining day interview where i dont feel like going!*, follow by some IQ question where my mind goes blank that time and i dont even feel like giving a shit to him, and follow by following the stranger to go up to the 7th floor of condo to see their office where i feel like *what?! Office in the condo and i need to follow you to go up, where i got no access card to come down if there is anything happen?!*, and then i received a call from the boss to confirm that they are hiring me, asking me to get back to them as soon as i can.

I am glad that I am stupid enough to accept this offer where i dont know what am I going to do. But this stupid acceptance bring my life a little of changed. 9 months, happy enough to spent my time together with my family other than my real family and CYC. Fun in shooting, trips, lunch, drinks, and of course the Christmas night, the memory, will stay.

#throwback this afternoon where the board called for an urgent meeting, we know, this is the time. 有人欢喜有人忧. Just because we are too ambitious, so we need to go for other great things which yet to be happen. Ahaaaaa thank God im the one who been letting off. Cause, i bought my flight today and finally give myself another short + 说走就走的旅行! Yay! Holiday I am coming!

It has been a long time since I last blog
I felt so blessed, Jesus love me so much
There is new door waiting for me ahead
Getting my key and one step closer to the door

Lost my faith previously and i got it back again today
At one point in your life you either have the thing you want or the reasons why you don't

At this point of time i found that I have to expect things myself before I can do them

Arranging my thought so I can have the point to persuade others to believe in me

I gonna try out everything but not staying in my comfort zone

I have to overcome I have to cross it over and I have to make it happened

God turn everything to possible from impossible and I know I have to believe in it

很多时候也是你看我好，我看你好

欣然接受吧

如果............

• 下次如果觉得自己了不起时，试试行在水上。 
• 当撒旦提起你的过去时，请提醒它的未来。 你不是幸运，是蒙福。 
• 若想要真正活着，得先彻底死去。 
• 机会也许只敲一次门，但试探却总是在按门铃。 
• 我们常在强壮时，忘了神。 
• 那些只在星期天呼唤“天父”的人，在一星期余下的日子里活得像孤儿。 
• 不要以自我为中心，要以基督为中心。 
• 没有基督，没有平安;认识基督，得到平安。 
• 为什么我们不常向朋友提起神？因为我们不常向神提起我们的朋友。 
• 当把你的一切献给基督，因为祂把祂的一切都给了你。 
• 你现在所追求的，值得基督为它死吗？ 
• 使你向神靠近的人，是你真正的朋友。 
• 神爱我们，不是因为我们是怎样一个人，而是因为祂是怎样一位神。 
• 神的应许像夜空里的星星。夜越深，星星的光芒越亮。

Decided to write this post which relate to a friend of mine

Heartbeat went irregular

Conversation went different

Smile went brilliant

Love come back

Inadvertently, your name appear in my 2014 second half wishlist

Accidentally, your name appear in my prayer this few nights

Uncontrollable, things went uncontrollable, just uncontrollable

Guideline needed

有时候

有时候，
莫名的心情不好，
不想和任何人说话，
只想一个人静静的发呆。

有时候，
突然觉得心情烦躁，
看什么都觉得不舒服，
心里闷的发慌，
拼命想寻找一个出口。

有时候，
突然很想逃离现在的生活，
想不顾一切收拾自己的行李去旅行。

有时候，
在自己脆弱的时候，
想一个人躲起来，
不愿别人看到自己的伤口。

有时候，
突然很想哭，
却难过的哭不出来。

有时候，
夜深人静的时候，
突然觉得寂寞深入骨髓。

有时候，
明明自己心里有很多话要说，
却不知道怎样表达。

有时候，
很想放纵自己，
希望自己彻彻底底醉一次 。

有时候，

自己的梦想很多，
却力不从心。

有时候，
突然找不到自己，
把自己丢了。

有时候，
心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，
觉得自己很累很累。

有时候，
看不到自己未来的样子，
迷茫的不知所措。

有时候，
听到一首老歌，
就突然想起一个人。

有时候，
渴望别人的关怀，
渴望一份简单的快乐。

有时候明明很累了，但却没办法停止脚步...

其实，这只是少部分的有时候

还有大部分的有时候我活的很开心

XD

Was sitting in the office wait for CG time

Is time to update something here i think

Missing the holiday so much this whole week

Throw back everything and miss the holiday

Book up the air ticket to fly away

Ahhhaaaa next holiday is coming soon!

Coffee shop the whole week

Just to finish up every pending task

And yea, the tough week past

It is like finally i got the time to rest for this weekend

Holiday! Haha full with activities from saturday 6am till sunday 11.30pm :p

Looking forward! So long time never got such super nice self-create holiday

Another half month to go, 14days

Another level of new life begin

Breakthrough myself, stay positive

Step out from comfort zone, God will bless you with everything you want

God is so amazing, a stepping step a stepping rock for me before this real challenge thing begin

I am so bless

I couldnt compare myself to others, cause God never allow us to compare

What he plan for us is just plan ngam ngam for us :p

I love God, I love JESUS

SO MUCH LOVE

I LOVE HIMMMMMM!!!!!

LOVEEEEE!!!

Oh ya, a little update

我成功啦！！

感谢神 :)

Was sitting in the coffee shop again

Forcing myself to wake early

Promise to done my work

Promise God to live better

Promise to many things

I must get it done

话语带来能力

神说，事就成了

要赞美，要宣告，要说，不断的说

是的，我会做到

我一定会

感谢上帝不断地提醒

感谢上帝不断的带领

人生，没有了上帝

我真的不知为什么而活了

好爱好爱上帝

真的好爱

I really thanks God for everything

Its real

无人能形容 你所赐奇妙大爱

No one, yes, no one can describe

You are just so amazing to me

You are just so amazing to everyone

Praise!

4 more hours for me to done my work

Yes, i must learn to be time management

Manage my time, i wanna be (Y)

Concentrate, it will bring a better result.

*A prayer to God yesterday night, 我说，它会成!*

Just so you know, I live super duper happy recently.
Today, I will share you guys the best moments of my life, which happen one year ago.
It has been exactly one year pass ~ 31-May-2013, everyone is so emo today.
Insta Facebook Twitter, all social network which can connect with my SHU friends, you can see emo over there.
They #throwback, they #buangbalik, they #sheffield, they #AEM, they #SHU, they #pinnacles...
Everything they # make me emo too..
Yea, I miss Sheffiled so much!
Or, should be, I miss all my #AEM so much!!

This photo shows where we tired of waiting for transit in Dubai airport
Look for wifi everywhere, to report self safeness
And, you can spot me fall asleep actually if you (Y)
Haha, everyone is looking wifi!
Well, rich kia like me, reported long time ago with my roaming :p

First day in Sheffield

说好要聚一聚, 可惜每个人都睡昏了

清醒的我们,唯有到处 walk 一 walk

My first photo with the little grass beside my hostel :p

Induction day

Random take while we waiting others gao dim their stuff

 

First of our trip

Trip to York

Group photo first

人生中最冷的一天，非 Alpacas 之旅莫属!

我已经不清楚自己如何挨过来了

总而言之，就是最冷了!

Some picnic time + Birthday celebration

A visit to the dream place

Old Trafford

A cute selfie first xD

Whitby day trip

Love this colourful house so much!

And I wanna go visit the one in Australia too!

One day, i will. 2 more years perhaps?

A random dinner time with UK pastor and the gang

I wanna thanks God so much for this little chance

At least, I try my best

撒种，浇灌。收割的事，让上帝完成吧

Blackpool

The city of entertainment

Liverpool visit

Cambridge!

The city where I stay for the rest of my UK life other than Sheffield 

Peace Garden

Where music & party normally held here

Here come the Newcastle

Nothing much here

We came all the way here from Sheffield

4 hours+ drive if not mistaken

Just for a Chinese buffet lunch, follow by a coffee break

Then back to Sheffield again!

How great is this!

The G.A.P gang in Newcastle

A lot more to go

But decide to stop here

Come back for another update maybe? :p

When im compiling this post

You, appear in my mind again

我不知道自己为何那么伟大

伟大，用在这，好像不太对位

Saw a post today

Definition of Stupid:-

Knowing the Truth;

Seeing the Truth;

But still believing the lies.

Yea, the truth,

But still, believing in the lies.

When can i stop believing you?

Stupid, really stupid....

总结了一下

为何还不断的相信，不断的接受

也许是当我一个人在外国的那段日子

一个人守候那空荡荡的房子

我可以找你抱怨 可以找你倾述

我可以不顾一切的劳烦你的时间

在我难过伤心孤独的时候

你的安慰你的陪伴你的说服

陪我度过多少个这么样一个人的日子

这是个可怕的“习惯”

我不想习惯有你

问题还是得解决

习惯不能挂在嘴边

我得学习放下

是的，我该放下

再见了

Is time to get back to the lovely bed

Get some worship time

Get some quality time

As i said,

I have decided to follow Jesus

No turning back

Yea, I love Jesus!

We get some personal test today in office

Oh yeaaa again i never change

Yea, I am a visualise person

I need to see, i dont hear :p

I believe what i see

What i see is what i believe

Yes, i am talking to you, AGAIN

I believe what i see, what for you still act like nothing happen?

Dont you know what i see? 

I know, u know what i see, you know what i mean

最讨厌就是不诚实的人

A little great dinner time with my friend yesday

So real, yes, the world is so real

Thanks for all the funny example, the funny description

I had a great night <3 div="">

Believe me, i really want thave boy friend.. Lol

Thanks for the great dinner, thanks for the great dessert, thanks for the great time!

Another new level to go

Another new things to do

New, i need a new lifestyle

Some picture showing time

Ignore the always-without-lense face of mine recently

I am just too lazy to put my lense on

没有帅哥，就带着我那老花眼镜吧

A night out with my lovely friend somehwere sometime last 2 weeks i think

A simple dinner and movie time

And a stupid conversation with him last few days

Lol

I just dont know what to do and how to describe

Although the feedback you gave was not so ngam with the style im doing thing

But, still thanks lahhhh

Haha thank you for the time

Thank you for not saying me stupid

 

Then come a little date with my love one

Went for an expensive dinner

Lol

Quality time, quality moment

Treasure the friendship we had for this 15 years (i think)

就如你说所，一段关系会有它的期限

希望我们的期限不会到来
 

Selfie, YeQi :D
 

Selfie, FongPing and YeQi

taken this during service time

Cause our pastor encourage us to selfie more!!
 

Haha and come this a super long time pass story

Yes, I am graduate

Officially

Yes, i never cry and call people this time

Cause, i make it

:)

A detail post will be up soon regrading graduate


Its 20 of May

Having a dinner date and some drinking session with some random friend

Just appreciate whatever you have

Time will pass, people will change, the love from you to God, dont change
 

And here come the last pic

Hehe my little bear from 2011 to 2013

The last pic of them together, cause they already been freeze, under the bed.. Lol

God bless!

Lunch time over.

Time to start my work again.

Anddddddd tonight i will be having a little date with my blog's 忠实 fans!

Excited! Byeeee~

有些关系，
是两个人已约会了很多很多次，
但是始终没有在一起。

有些关系，
是两个人会对外宣称彼此是朋友，
只是其他人不会知道他们有多要好。

有些关系，
其实大家从来没有向彼此认定过，
就只凭蒙胧的相信或猜想来一直维系。

有些关系，
是你会觉得不用将一切事情都说得太清楚仔细，
说穿了就会破坏这段关系的真正意义。

有些关系，
是其中一方知道有些界线不可僭越，
但却又不自禁的期望有天可以出现奇迹。

有些关系，
是另外一方知道其实不应该再如此下去，
但每一次总是未能狠心去跟对方说清楚。

有些关系，
是开始于不知不觉，
然后有天也消失于不知不觉。

有些关系，
有时会让当事人如沐春风，
有时又会让人哭笑不得、渡日如年。

有些关系，
是始终不能如此不明不白走到永恒，
总有天总有人会希望知道那些谜题的真相。

有些关系，
其实从来没有几多承诺和责任，
就算对方要放手也不能有太多怨怼。

有些关系，
是最后两个人都不再见面了，
但你还是会继续在回忆里向对方问好。

有些关系，
是就算有过几多深刻细腻，
但你始终都分不清是什么关系 ......

有些关系，
是你将来某天回望，
当时那些没有说清楚的心情，
其实是有多么真诚著紧、是有多么明确易懂，
只是你们没有向对方认可，
没有跟对方说自己原来在乎，
你们选择让这段关系，
就此不明不白，从此悄然而息 ......

但其实你曾经多想，
结束这一段不明不白的关系，
让你们可以重新开始一段，
实实在在的爱情。

只是有些关系，
未开始就已经结束，
结束了，以后就再没有下一次。

so TRUE

I miss Dubai

I miss holiday

Please give me a holiday

right now..........

28/1/2014 Dubai Safari

Lunch from home

And i enjoy it

Enjoy every of my single time

Coffee needed btw

就...忽然好想写
时常写些有的没得
都有人complain我了
你就不能写些有意义的吗？
我......

看了篇文章
那旅行的味觉回来了
对，我嗅到了它的味道
我的下个旅程几时会开始呢

工作忙的喘不过气来
我也不知道自己到底在忙什么
花了一个星期去了解去完成的分内事
Boss 竟然在一个下午就完成了
怎么我都这么笨呢
怎么你都还让我学习呢
感觉好像在花费您的时间，花费您的$$请我来逍遥

哭了这么忍不住就哭了
还哭得那么难看那么难堪
人家都该给你什么反应呢
笨蛋 哭就好好躲在被单里
别出来献丑别出来养眼

希望将每一样事情都做好
Give you the world if it was mine
Feels like, you are mine
被遗忘的你 在记忆中被找回
我们会再相遇

我的爱，相会在何时